The more you can understand the differences between men and women, the easier to learn to establish harmony and pleasure in your connection. Below are several examples of how our brains are wired differently and how this colors our perception and choices. Read this article and then take these principles and observe them in the men and women you meet. Also, explore if you can see some of these differences in your own partner.

How our brains are wired differently:

The female brain is like the standard model: The left brain controls the analytical, logical, goal-oriented thinking, and the right brain controls the aesthetic and emotional thinking. They are connected by a bridge of nerves called the corpus callosum. Additionally, there are overlapping parts. Linguistic and emotional abilities are shared by both halves of the brain. This explains why women are talented speakers who can think in a complex, intuitive way, and why we love to talk about our feelings.

The male brain is like a special edition: The different areas are separated. Speech sits in the left and feelings on the right side of the brain, and a man’s corpus callosum has significantly fewer nerve connections. This means language and feelings are barely connected, which biologically explains men’s difficulty in speaking about their feelings. It also explains why it takes much longer for men to process deep emotional stress.

Men think linearly (“straightforward”);women think emotionally (“multifaceted”).

The male brain is designed to think linearly, seeking the shortest way to a goal. When the left, logical side of the brain is active (for example, when calculating, analyzing, planning, building, securing, steering and talking), the right, emotional side has nothing to say. This way of thinking helps men act in a quick and goal oriented manner. In the female brain, feelings always play a part, which strengthens social abilities. This way of thinking helps women act in an intuitive and foresighted manner.
Male Thinking
…functions logically: “One step after another.”

…”Black or white.”      “Yes or no.”
…is goal-oriented:       “Let’s take action first!”
…is status-oriented:    ”I want to be the fastest, greatest and best!”
…is focused on performance: “I want to finish every job and be recognized for it.”
.Female Thinking
…functions intuitively:                       ”I see two things simultaneously.” ·

… ”Shades of gray are important.”  “There are numerous possibilities.”
…is process-oriented: ·                       ”Let’s talk about it.”
…is relationship oriented:·                ”I want to be liked by everyone”
…is focused on feeling well and others’ welfare: · “I want everything to go well.”

We have the one half; men have the other half. To make life work, both female and male thinking abilities are crucial. The way a person thinks (whether in a more masculine or feminine way) is decided in nascence. In approximately the sixth week of pregnancy, the T-factor comes into play, determined by the degree to which our embryonic brain is exposed to male hormones. The less testosterone it gets, the more “femaleness” remains.

What follows is this:
“The higher the dose of male hormones to which the fetus is exposed, the more male the adult’s behavior will be.” According to scientists and Brainsex authors Anne Moir and David Jessel, the less testosterone, the more feminine the brain remains. This goes for both men and women. The more feminine your brain, the more you look out for others and try to beautify your environment.

The more masculine your brain structure, the greater your desire for occupational success and the more talented you are at logical, analytical and spatial thinking. You can observe the same phenomenon in men, depending on how masculine or feminine their brain structures are. Hormones not only shape our basic disposition, but also the way we feel at any given moment. For women, the ups and downs of our female hormones create clear mood swings and influence our performance ability. At the beginning of our cycle, we generally have lots of energy; toward the end, this energy diminishes, and we need to relax and rejuvenate.

Your cycle lasts about 30 days- and his lasts about 24 hours.

Men, on the other hand, function like clockwork: They get up in the morning and plop into bed at night. In the morning, their testosterone level is highest; that’s when they have lots of vitality and want to do something with it. So, don’t wonder why your partner doesn’t feel like cuddling for hours in the morning. He wants to put on his armor and go battle the world. At night, his T-factor declines. Now he wants to relax…

Understanding Men and Understanding Women

The more you can understand the differences between men and women, the easier to learn to establish harmony and pleasure in your connection. Below are several examples of how our brains are wired differently and how this colors our perception and choices. Read this article and then take these principles and observe them in the men and women you meet. Also, explore if you can see some of these differences in your own partner.

How our brains are wired differently:

The female brain is like the standard model: The left brain controls the analytical, logical, goal-oriented thinking, and the right brain controls the aesthetic and emotional thinking. They are connected by a bridge of nerves called the corpus callosum. Additionally, there are overlapping parts. Linguistic and emotional abilities are shared by both halves of the brain. This explains why women are talented speakers who can think in a complex, intuitive way, and why we love to talk about our feelings.

The male brain is like a special edition: The different areas are separated. Speech sits in the left and feelings on the right side of the brain, and a man’s corpus callosum has significantly fewer nerve connections. This means language and feelings are barely connected, which biologically explains men’s difficulty in speaking about their feelings. It also explains why it takes much longer for men to process deep emotional stress.

Men think linearly (“straightforward”);women think emotionally (“multifaceted”).

The male brain is designed to think linearly, seeking the shortest way to a goal. When the left, logical side of the brain is active (for example, when calculating, analyzing, planning, building, securing, steering and talking), the right, emotional side has nothing to say. This way of thinking helps men act in a quick and goal oriented manner. In the female brain, feelings always play a part, which strengthens social abilities. This way of thinking helps women act in an intuitive and foresighted manner.
Male Thinking
…functions logically: “One step after another.”

…”Black or white.”      “Yes or no.”
…is goal-oriented:       “Let’s take action first!”
…is status-oriented:    ”I want to be the fastest, greatest and best!”
…is focused on performance: “I want to finish every job and be recognized for it.”
.Female Thinking
…functions intuitively:                       ”I see two things simultaneously.” ·

… ”Shades of gray are important.”  “There are numerous possibilities.”
…is process-oriented: ·                       ”Let’s talk about it.”
…is relationship oriented:·                ”I want to be liked by everyone”
…is focused on feeling well and others’ welfare: · “I want everything to go well.”

We have the one half; men have the other half. To make life work, both female and male thinking abilities are crucial. The way a person thinks (whether in a more masculine or feminine way) is decided in nascence. In approximately the sixth week of pregnancy, the T-factor comes into play, determined by the degree to which our embryonic brain is exposed to male hormones. The less testosterone it gets, the more “femaleness” remains.

What follows is this:
“The higher the dose of male hormones to which the fetus is exposed, the more male the adult’s behavior will be.” According to scientists and Brainsex authors Anne Moir and David Jessel, the less testosterone, the more feminine the brain remains. This goes for both men and women. The more feminine your brain, the more you look out for others and try to beautify your environment.

The more masculine your brain structure, the greater your desire for occupational success and the more talented you are at logical, analytical and spatial thinking. You can observe the same phenomenon in men, depending on how masculine or feminine their brain structures are. Hormones not only shape our basic disposition, but also the way we feel at any given moment. For women, the ups and downs of our female hormones create clear mood swings and influence our performance ability. At the beginning of our cycle, we generally have lots of energy; toward the end, this energy diminishes, and we need to relax and rejuvenate.

Your cycle lasts about 30 days- and his lasts about 24 hours.

Men, on the other hand, function like clockwork: They get up in the morning and plop into bed at night. In the morning, their testosterone level is highest; that’s when they have lots of vitality and want to do something with it. So, don’t wonder why your partner doesn’t feel like cuddling for hours in the morning. He wants to put on his armor and go battle the world. At night, his T-factor declines. Now he wants to relax…

How can you keep a man’s attention? What makes some women irresistible to men? With a population ratio of 1 man to 4 women, the playing field can sometimes feel a bit crowded.  I’ve written these guidelines for you, so you are sure to stand out from the crowd.

Choose to be the woman in your relationship and allow him to be the man.

Enjoy using your feminine charm and soft-heartedness to love your man. Let him feel your interest in what he’s doing. Be curious about how things are going at his work or ask if his favorite team won the football game. Your interest in his life and belief in his abilities will make him want to conquer the world for you.

When you’re confident, calm and emotionally stable, he’ll trust you to be his woman.

Stay away from being needy or making your life about constantly needing the attention and approval of your man. Stay stable in your emotions and receptive to his ideas and requests without giving up your personal desires. Find your passion and live your life to the fullest. A woman who is going for her goals and involved in her community is interesting for a man.

Ask for what you want in a playful manner and he’ll give you everything you desire.

It’s easy to see the problems and even easier to get caught up in them. A woman who is constantly criticizing and complaining sends her man further and further away. Learn to focus on what’s working and practice asking for what you want in clear requests like:

Complaining: We never spend time together.

Clear Request: There’s a new Italian restaurant down the street. I would love to meet you there for       dinner on Thursday. Are you available?”

If you ask for what you want without complaining or making him wrong, he’ll work hard to get you what you want.

Use acknowledgment to win his loyalty.

Let your man know exactly what he does that pleases you. Are you inspired by his ability to keep the kids calm and settled? Does he give you good advice when you have a crisis at the office? Share what you appreciate about him so he has clear feedback. Men respond to how they feel when they’re with you.  If he leaves feeling like a hero, he’ll become a hero for you.

Your satisfaction is a turn on for him.

When you’re satisfied and happy a man wants to show you off to all his friends. He loves having a satisfied lady by his side. There’s nothing sexier than a woman with her own life who also loves being part of his.

Here’s your checklist for simple tips to keep him interested.

• Be confident
• Be independent but also connected with him
• Be playful
• Be attentive and curious with him
• Be soft-hearted
• Be accepting
• Have a strong self-worth.
• Be a prize he gets to win.
• Be considerate and respectful
• Acknowledge him
• Be emotionally stable.

Practicing these tips with a light-hearted approach can be fun and very rewarding for you. Your elegant charm and natural charisma will make you stand out in any crowd.

I want to share a little secret with you that can change your love life forever.  If you find drama is a way of life for you, then you belong on stage. Yes, in the local theater, in your one woman show or in a Burlesque Band of Babes. The most productive life changing action you can take is to express yourself!! Just like Madonna said ladies, “Express Yourself.” Get outrageous and live a little by getting in front of people and strutting your stuff. You have something to share and it’s being wasted on unproductive drama that will age you prematurely and eventually send the people you love away.

If you don’t know what kind of entertainment you would love to do explore some options like taking an acting class or developing a comedy speaking routine. Take action and put yourself out there. I’ve worked with thousands of people and have been the catalyst for hundreds of women creating their own theater productions, singing careers and speaking careers. The more these ladies are in their function the happier and sexier they become. Turn your “Drama Queen” into an exciting passion that could just set you on the path to your true calling in life.

Well, there’s one common person in both relationships and guess who, that’s YOU! Now don’t get down on yourself…Just the fact that you had this ‘aha’ moment will create a change. Awareness is a powerful teacher and when our unconscious patterns become obvious, it’s difficult to ever ignore them ever again.

I’ve worked with thousands of women and a light bulb goes on in the moment when they realize they may have something to do with the negative responses they are getting from men. There’s enormous power when you take responsibility for your actions. Then it’s a game of curiosity to see exactly what you are doing that keeps getting you the same results you don’t want with men.

Why do men cheat on one woman and not on another? How do two different types of men start saying the same words to you when they don’t know each other and they are completely different?

Here are a few tips to using your curiosity to shed light on your unproductive behaviors so you can change the dynamic in your relationships with men and design the relationship you always wanted.

Dig deep: If the men you choose always cheat on you, then come clean with your fears. Are you always accusing him of being interested in other women? Are you jealous and always pointing out other women he would possibly be interested in? Do you get angry at him when he talks with a woman at a party and there’s a bit of chemistry?

If you’re interested in a man and thinking about getting serious it’s important to share your top 3 to 5 values. One of these needs to be monogamy and clearly stated so you both are clear about the relationship you are building. If he agrees to this, then it’s important to trust and not to be accusing him. Stay connected and close and be his partner, not his police. Let him know how much you love his commitment and attention. Expect the best.

Stop criticizing: One of the biggest habits women fall into is criticizing men for all the little things they do that irritate them. Before long he feels like he can’t win. Most men will eventually respond by coming home and lying on the sofa and watching tv or showing up late so he doesn’t have to spend too much time with a woman that’s not happy with him.

Your non-verbal and verbal acceptance can open the door to deep communication with your man. When he doesn’t feel criticized but instead feels you love him and respect him, he will want to please you.

Take a risk: Believe you can create a different kind of connection with a man. If you’ve been hurt don’t carry the old fears into the new relationship. Spend time writing out all your fears and then burn them and let go. Our thoughts create our reality and our doubts and fears create our results in our relationships. Let your man know you expect the best of him and never use doubt to try to get him to change.

These three simple tips can completely change the way you approach your man. If you find yourself falling into old habits, just own up to it and admit you made a mistake. Your honesty will create more loyalty from the man you love.

Befriend women who are good for you.

Look at your circle of friends. Which women don’t let you feel bad about yourself? Who encourages you to see things in a different way? Who is contagious with her good mood and makes you positive?

Choose female friends who want to see you happy and successful—and encourage you to act responsibly. Meet regularly with these women; they’re good for you! A Harvard Medical School study showed a lack of close friends is as bad for your health as smoking or obesity.

When you have close friends, you cope better with stress and live a longer, healthier life. Take time for your friendships. Think about the energy and relaxation a good conversation with your friend gives you.

Network with women who want you to be successful.

Behind (and, nowadays, next to and in front of) every successful man stands a woman who believes in him. But behind every successful woman stands an entire network of women (and often a man, as well)! You need women in your life who inspire you, are honest with you and really want you to achieve everything you desire in your partnerships. These women are your Power Connections®.

To build a strong relationship with your man, you need strong connections with women.

You have probably experienced this: You decide to try something new in your life. You begin full of enthusiasm and experience an amazing change. But after a while, everything is back to normal. You notice the old routine is back, or you get stuck on an issue and can’t seem to let go of it. Don’t be hard on yourself.  Even the most experienced women have moments when they don’t know what to do. This is absolutely normal. Sometimes you’re in a state of mind in which you need an outside perspective to help you see clearly again. This is the time to get support from your power connections.

When you need help, grab the phone and call: “I need some coaching. Do you have time?” It doesn’t take much before a woman knows exactly what’s going on, and if your friends know and use their skills, they can help you through.

How your Power Connections strengthen you:

• When you talk with them, you can refuel.  A strong network of women brings you warmth and understanding. When you’re on the same wavelength, you can exchange inspiration.

• They  share information. Your community can help you find everything you’re looking for: the right  dream job, new clients, a new apartment and the perfect hairstylist. All the combined wisdom is available to you.

• They give you, and each other, appreciation and acknowledgment. Your Power Connections recognizes everything you do and appreciates your contribution.

•They give and receive honest feedback. Your Power-Connections® network has no preconceived judgments about you; instead, members are open and curious about discovering your truth. They look for your glow and where you’re the most alive.

• They support you and each other. Your Power Connections® network is on your side when it comes to achieving your goals.

• They help you stay on track. When you start whining, they come to your side, remind you of your goals and encourage you to change your perspective.

• They motivate you and each other. Not only do they listen to you, but they also continuously ask: “What do you want to achieve? What do you love doing? What inspires you? Will you do it? By when?”

• They make a game of it. Your Power Connections® network encourages you to design your plans so you have fun.

• They see you and each other as great. Your Power Connections® network doesn’t buy the stories you create about yourself that make you small; instead, members remind you of your abilities, talents and what you truly desire.

• They encourage you and each other. After a conversation, you feel stronger and more inspired to take action. With their support behind you, you believe in yourself.

• You find enough time to just have fun and to relax.

Taken from”Hello Tarzan” by Gigi Sage and Birgit Engel

This is one of the simplest ways to start (or continue) to have a better relationship with your man, but for some people it can also be the most challenging. I often ask people the question “Would you rather be right? Or rich?” By rich I mean richness in all areas of your life, including your relationship.

Exercise:

Get a pen and paper (you can type this but I feel it’s more powerful when you handwrite it) and label the top of the page “What I love about ____________ (your partner’s name).” Then at the top of another sheet write “What I love about my relationship.” Now write. List everything that comes to mind. Don’t edit and don’t worry about repeating yourself by saying similar things. Write at least 25 things. That’s right, 25. Do not let yourself stop until you’ve come up with at least that many. And if you can, I highly recommend writing more.

When negative thoughts come up, simply release them without letting them affect you. Stay in a positive space. See what I mean about it being challenging? Now, for an even greater challenge, I want you to keep adding to these lists over the next week or 30 days (if you are doing step one, it could be very powerful for you to combine these two exercises). Challenge yourself to add one thing for every day, or one thing every time something negative comes to mind about your partner or your relationship.

This step requires you letting go of being “right” about all the things that are wrong with your relationship or partner. If you can do this, then you will be well on your way to having the relationship of your dreams. You will reawaken the things you love and adore about your man.  So it’s up to you “Would you rather be right? Or rich?”

xoxo,

Gigi

Ways to Save Your Relationship

“I don’t know how to save my marriage.”

”The spark is gone.”

“We’ve grown apart.”

“We’re no longer intimate with each other.”

For me (as a relationship and life coach), these kinds of statements are something I hear on a daily basis. For you, they may seem to be a fact of daily life.

I am here to tell you that however things may appear, you can rescue your relationship. But rather than thinking of it as mending something that is broken or damaged, think of it this way (because this is the way it is): It just needs a little reinvention!

So without further ado, here are some tips on Ways to Save Your Relationship:

1. Start Over.

Start a new relationship, with the same person! This may seem silly to you but I assure you that it is an invaluable first step in the process of saving your relationship. Before anything can change, you have to change the way you are thinking about your relationship. Only when you release your old patterns of thinking and perceptions about your partner and your relationship can you truly take the steps necessary to reinvent it.

So the first thing you need to do is to make the mental and emotional commitment to start from scratch. From this moment onward, your relationship is new and exciting. Remember love when it was new? You are about to become one of the lucky few who experiences that twice with the same person!

There are countless ways to go about making this commitment binding for yourself. Create your own or try this: A simple way that I recommend going about this is to write or type up an agreement that says something like the following:

“I ________  hereby commit to let go of all judgments, opinions, and old patterns of thinking and behaving in regards to my partner, my interactions and conversations with my partner, and my relationship. Once signed, I agree to consider this contract fully binding for a period of at least 30 days.”

You can adjust the wording and the time period as you wish. Sign and date it and keep it somewhere that you cannot forget about it. Don’t necessarily put it out on display (there is no need to share this with your partner unless you really want to), but rather somewhere that is meaningful to you and that you will remember it. A warning: DO NOT sign the contract unless you really mean it. Only when you can make this commitment and stick to it will you be able to truly begin to reinvent your relationship.

More tomorrow…

xoxo,

Gigi

My first request is for you to get curious about men again. Observe their strengths and the things you love about them. Remember to put your attention on the things you want more of in your life because that’s what you’ll get! Come with me on an exciting journey to learn to love men. Many women who have worked with me have turned their relationship around in 21 days or less with my dating and relationship advice.

You will gain more confidence and self-esteem as you learn some of my secret tips to finding your passion and taking care of yourself. You’ll be surprised when you become more relaxed and happy how your perspective will shift about men. You will see them through a new lens of curiosity.

Practice makes perfect! As you read my posts, take the relationship advice and practice every day until you achieve your relationship dreams. Get ready ladies to be THE HAPPIEST WOMAN YOU KNOW!

xoxo,

Gigi